Broken Down Like a Mirror Smashed to Pieces
by Crystal Manning
Summary: -Set after LWW- Edmund never said what Jadis did to him. The only thing anyone knew was that she held him hostage and used him to find Aslan. No one knows the real story. He relives his torture in his nightmares and it's affecting his reality.
1. Chapter 1

**I had the idea for this after watching the first Narnia movie. I hope you like it. And I know I keep making new stories but I'll update the others too, don't worry.**

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**Prologue **

Edmund stared out the window and kept his eyes transfixed on the moon. It's pale silvery glow illuminated his features which seemed to be set in stone. He didn't blink and his body barley moved as he breathed. He glanced back to look at his brother and saw that he was still asleep. Edmund sighed as he felt a pang of jealousy. He wished he could sleep that peacefully but he knew that, even if he closed his eyes for a second, his nightmares would come back again. They always do.

They weren't really nightmares, more like memories, which was worse. Edmund couldn't go a day without having a memory creep into his reality. It would scare him so bad her would start shaking. He was sent to the nurse's office four times in the past week but the nurse could never find anything that was wrong with him so they sent him back to class.

Edmund was normally really smart but recently he's been having trouble paying attention and he's been getting bad grades on tests and quizzes. He didn't have to pay much attention since he had learned everything years before but now it was like everything slipped from his mind. It was like everything he had learned was wiped from his memory.

Edmund sighed before breaking his gaze and lying back down on his bed. He stared at the ceiling and tried to count sheep to get himself to fall back asleep but his mind was racing. He didn't know how long he stayed awake but the next thing he knew he was being shaken by Peter who looked at him in concern.

"Ed? Are you all right?" He asked.

"Mmhmm," Edmund muttered as he rubbed his eyes and yawned. He forced open his eyes and peered around the bright room. "What time is it?"

"Time for you to get up," Peter responded as he threw Edmund's uniform at him. Edmund made no effort to move and it hit in him in the face. He lazily pulled his shirt off of his face and groaned. "Breakfast is soon."

"I know, I know," Edmund muttered as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Go and save me a seat, will ya?" He muttered as he got out of his bed and shuffled to the bathroom.

"Ok, don't drown yourself," Peter said before leaving the room.

Edmund grunted in reply before closing the door behind himself. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and winced when he saw the bags that were under his eyes and how pale his skin was. He rubbed his eyes and yawned once more before turning the faucet on the shower and held his hand underneath the water. He stiffned when he felt how cold the water was. It was like ice.

Almost instantly images flashed in his mind as he squeezed his eyes shut. He remembered the cold touch that chilled him to the bone, the icy voice, the cold heart. He remembered the pain, the torture, the heartache.

He remembered everything, but he wanted to forget.

He knew that he never would be able to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Staring Out Into the World Across the Street**

Edmund stepped out of his room, fully dressed in his uniform. His bag strap was resting on his shoulder and he felt like the books were weighing him down. He slowly followed the voices to the cafeteria as he tried to wake himself up fully.

The smell of pancakes reached his nose as he grabbed a plate and went through the breakfast selection. Once his plate was full he scanned the area looking for his brother. He spotted Peter sitting by one of the large windows on the right side of the room.

Grasping his tray tightly in his hands he started to navigate his way over to Peter, trying not to bump into anyone along the way. Edmund kept his eyes on the table so he didn't see the foot sticking out in front of him. Edmund fell down hard as his tray went flying out of his hands. His face landed smack dab in the middle of his scrambled eggs.

The large cafeteria seemed to magnify the laughter as Edmund lifted himself up. He started to brush the food off of his shirt when a napkin came into his lie of vision. He looked up into the innocent face of Peter as he smiled down at his brother, still holding out the napkin. Edmund fought inside himself whether to yell at Peter or to thank him. Edmund stayed quiet as he took the napkin and rubbed the food off of his face.

"Nice trip, Pevensie? I guess I'll see you next fall." A cruel voice called from above him. Edmund kept himself from rolling his eyes at the lame joke. He knew who the speaker was without even having to look at him.

It was Andrew Yorke. Andrew has tormented Edmund ever since he first attended Henden House. Edmund never knew what he did to get Andrew to make fun of him and to beat him up all of the time but Edmund was a little bit grateful. If not for Andrew, Edmund wouldn't have been able to handle fighting.

"Just ignore him," Peter said as he picked up Edmund's tray. Edmund was surprised to see that everything was in the same shape as it was when he got it, minus the eggs. He allowed Peter to carry it to the table for him as he wiped off the rest of his face. "What did you do to him, Ed?"

"Nothing," Edmund responded before taking a bite of his toast. He looked up when Peter gave him an unreadable look. "I'm telling the truth. I didn't do anything to him. He's been like that since I first enrolled here. I don't know why he hates me."

"Maybe it's because you get better grades than him and you don't even have to pay attention in class," Peter offered.

"It's not my fault that we learned almost everything all ready," Edmund grumbled as he took another bite of toast.

Staying in Narnia for a while gave the Pevensies time to not only learn about their history but Narnian history as well. Ever since they came back Edmund didn't feel that he had to pay 

attention in class to get good grades. Now all he does is either stare out the window or relieve memories of their fights in his head.

"Edmund."

Edmund blinked and looked around. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize that the bell had rung, signaling the start of classes. Edmund picked up his bag and started to follow Peter but Peter stopped him.

"Ed, please try and stay out of trouble today. Please?" Peter asked as he looked Edmund in the eyes with his bright blue eyes. "I don't want to have to tell Mom that you got another detention. That would be your…fourth this week? And it's only Wednesday."

"I'll try," Edmund muttered. Peter sighed and crossed his arms. "You know I didn't deserve that last detention!"

"Ed, you knocked off Professor Levitt's toupee," Peter told him. Edmund but his lip to keep from smiling at the memory. He had been running to make it to his next class when he ran into the Foreign Language professor. Edmund helped him pick up his books when he noticed that a fly had settled on Professor Levitt's head. He tried to knock it off without hurting the Professor but he knocked off his hair instead. The other students in the hall laughed as Edmund tried to get away but he got stuck in detention.

"I didn't do it on purpose," Edmund said as he regained his composure.

"Sure you didn't."

"I'll see you later, Pete." Edmund brushed past his older brother so he could get to his first class, which was History. Edmund sat down in the back like he always did and put his book down on the desk in front of himself. He rested his arms on top of it as he waited for the class to start.

He was suddenly pulled away from the noisy classroom and was put in a grassy area with different colors of flowers growing. A cool breeze blew his hair gently as he scanned the area. A sound of thudding hooves grabbed his attention so he turned around in time to see Peter, Susan, and Lucy rushing past on horses, laughing.

"Edmund, come join us!" Lucy called over her shoulder as she pulled on her reigns to stop. Peter and Susan did the same as they smiled at him and nodded in encouragement. Edmund felt Phillip nudge him with his nose. Edmund smiled softly before putting his foot into the stirrup and lifted himself onto Phillips's back.

Before he could start riding he was brought back to reality by the slamming of the classroom door as the teacher strode to the front of the room. He flinched while the teacher wrote the topic of the day on the board with squeaky chalk.

Sighing, Edmund looked out the window and across the street to their sister school, St. Finbars. Some girls were on the front lawn, playing Double Dutch or running around. Edmund thought it was amazing how different St. Finbars and Henden House were. It was like they were in two different worlds.

But no world was as appealing to Edmund as Narnia was. And even that held bad memories for him, memories that he couldn't escape.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: You Hate the Way your Life Turned Out to be**

The piercing sound of the bell told Edmund that it was finally time for Free Hour. He usually spent the hour with his brother, sitting on the front lawn, reading. The two liked being outside because it was quiet and it gave them time to think. Edmund packed up all of his school books and made his way back to his room. He ignored all of the other boys shouting and laughing around him as he dodged them. He climbed the stairs and went down the hall before turning into his room. Edmund threw his bag onto his bed haphazardly before moving over to the bookshelf to see what book he would want to read when a hand clamped down on his shoulder.

The fingers were ice cold and seemed to bite into his shoulder as the grip tightened and everything around him turned black. Edmund opened his mouth to say something but found that he couldn't speak; he couldn't even let out a sound of pain. He felt numb even though he felt cold breath on the back of his neck.

"Please…don't…" he finally gasped.

"Ed?"

Edmund blinked and everything came back into focus. His was taking in huge breaths of air as he gasped. The hand slid off of his shoulder and he turned it to see who's body the hand was attached to. Peter looked at his younger brother in concern as Edmund's gasping suddenly slowed down until he was breathing normally.

"Oh, Pete, it's only you," Edmund said as he let out a sigh.

"Who'd you think I was?" Peter asked, the concern never leaving his face. Edmund paused, thinking over weather or not he should tell his brother. _'He'd probably think I was being silly, he wouldn't understand…'_

"No one," Edmund said as he shook his head before grabbing a mystery book off of the shelf. He could feel Peter's questioning gaze on the back of his head but he kept his feet moving, as if on autopilot. He moved out of the room, down the hall, down the stairs, down two more halls, and out the front door. He crossed the lawn before sitting underneath his favorite tree, it was so tall that there was plenty of shade but it seemed like only he and Peter enjoyed that shade.

Edmund sat down and leaned back so his back was resting against the trunk of the tree. It was surprisingly soft, although it looked like it would hurt a lot. He tilted his head back and looked through the branches and into the clear blue sky. Edmund closed his eyes and let out the breath he was holding slowly.

"_Edmund_."

Edmund sucked in his breath sharply. He remembered that voice. It invaded his dreams and made him suffer through his nightmares. He wrapped his arms around his body when he suddenly felt cold. His teeth started to chatter as he rubbed his arms to keep heat from escaping. He slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was that his breath was lingering in front of his face. He placed his hands on the ground to move when it slid because of the slick surface. He looked down and rubbed his hand along the slick surface before looking around himself.

His breath got caught in his throat and it felt like his heart stopped beating when he recognized the cell made of ice. He stood and started to make his way to the door when his leg was jerked back. He looked down and saw that he was shackled to the ice wall. Panic started to creep in as his heart beat wildly and he grasped the chain and struggled to pull it out of the wall.

"No! No no no no no!" He cried out as he continued to pull, the cold chain digging into his palms. His breath came out in front of him as he tried to free himself. He paused when he heard footsteps in the distance. He held it breath, trying to hear where it was going and, to his dismay, it was coming closer.

"Come on. Come on." He gripped the chain link again and tried to pull it away. His fingers closed around it slowly, his joints moving slow because of how cold he was. He gripped the chain as best as he could, his hands were turning numb and he barley felt the pain when he tugged on the chain.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Edmund froze. He knew the voice, the voice haunted him. He didn't want to turn around to see who it was. He knew who the voice belonged to. His breath puffed out in clouds in front of him as his chest heaved. He could feel tears gathering in the corners of his eyes but he blinked them away. _'Please, just go away. Please…please…'_

He closed his eyes as he waited for something to happen. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked rapidly when his vision was obstructed by the leaves from the tree he was leaning against. He looked around to make sure he was actually there on the front lawn.

"What do you think you are doing?" The voice repeated. Edmund looked around and recoiled when he noticed Andrew glaring down at him, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Umm…reading?" Edmund's answer came out more like a question.

"You're sitting under _my_ tree!" Andre told him as he kicked the bottom of Edmund's foot.

"Your tree?" Edmund repeated. He looked around the ground before looking up the tree. "I don't see your name anywhere." He could tell that he was getting on Andrew's nerves. He was merely telling the truth but Andrew probably thought of it as him talking back.

"Pevensie, what kind of flowers do you want on your grave?" Andrew asked as he stepped closer to Edmund, cracking his knuckles in the process. Edmund gulped as he looked around, as if trying to find a way to escape. "You can't bring your brother into this one, Pevensie," he commented, as if he knew what Edmund was trying to do.

Edmund didn't say anything as he stood and locked eyes with Andrew. Andrew knocked the book out of Edmund's hand before grabbing him around the neck and slamming his back into the tree. Edmund's hands flew up to his throat as he tried to get Andrew's grip to slacken. Darkness started to seep into the corners of his vision as he gasped for air.

The fingers around his neck felt ice cold and he let out a groan of pain when his back scraped against the tree trunk. "Why are you misleading me, Edmund?" The voice was cold and harsh like ice.

"I…I'm sorry," Edmund gasped as he felt the grip slack on his neck. The cool wall behind him felt like heaven on his hot skin as he tried to get air into his lungs. His head slumped to the side but it was forced to lock with her steel, hard, gray eyes.

"You know something I don't, Edmund. Are you helping your siblings or are you helping me?"

"You! I'm helping you!"

"You better be."

Edmund felt the grip slacken before he fell against the ground. He coughed and rubbed his neck as he held himself up with his free hand and his knees. He looked up and saw that his book was lying open. He reached out for it but Andrew stomped down hard on the page. When he lifted his foot a muddy footprint covered the words on the page. Andrew laughed before turning and walking away right as the bell rang.

Edmund grabbed the book and closed it, despite wanting to throw it as far away from him as possible. He rushed back inside and went to his room to get his books for his last lessons of the day. He paid attention and didn't avert it, even though it was really hard seeing as he learnt everything all ready. He coasted through the rest of his classes on autopilot, as if he were half there. Once the bell rang, signaling the end of classes, he quickly packed up his things and dashed out of the room. He shoved some other students to the ground, not stopping to apologize. He rushed back into his room and threw his books onto his bed.

"What's your rush?" Peter asked from his bed.

"I just…really have to go," Edmund told him before rushing into the bathroom. He locked the door behind himself before turning on the light and looking in the mirror. His dark eyes reflected sadness, pain, and trauma. He turned around and let out a breath when he saw small beads of blood staining his white shirt. He undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt before pulling it off the rest of the way. He slowly looked in the mirror and almost fainted when he saw his back.

It was littered with scars, long and short, thick and thin. From being slammed into the tree some of the scars had opened up and blood was starting to seep out. Edmund grabbed a wash cloth and reached behind his back to hastily try and wipe the blood off without hurting the rest of his scars.

"Are you ok in there, Ed?" Peter called after a few minutes of Edmund trying to stop the bleeding on his back.

"I'm fine, Pete," Edmund called back, hoping his voice wasn't shaky. He looked back into the mirror and finally allowed the tears to fall down his cheeks as he sunk to his knees and held his face in his hands.

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**Did this chapter confuse you? If so some of the events that happened triggered memories of what happened to him while he was with Jadis. If you're still confused, feel free to send me a PM. I hope you liked this chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: He's Pulling Up in the Driveway and You Don't Make a Sound**

I rubbed my hands over my arms as I tried to stop myself from shaking. My breath came out in a white fog as my teeth chattered. It felt like every inch of my body was frozen. No matter how fast I rubbed my arms over my arms I couldn't generate any heat. I heard a creaking sound and looked up so see the White Witch walking into my cell. I glanced over as she walked towards me and I tried to scramble out of her reach but the shackles on my ankles stopped me. She grabbed me by my collar and I was easily lifted off of the ground.

"Where did they go?" She asked calmly, her warm breath coming out like a fog in the air.

"I don't know!" I replied. She threw me back down and I landed on the ice hard.

"Then you are no further use to me," she announced before she pulled back her staff. I braced myself, waiting to get stabbed by the sharp end.

"Wait!" I cried out, stopping her. "The beaver said something about Aslan.

"Aslan?" She repeated. "Where?"

"I…" I struggled to form words but my teeth were chattering too much for me to be able to say anything.

"He's a stranger to our land, you can't expect him to know anything," Mr. Tumnus spoke up. I flinched when I heard him getting hit in the face by the White Witch's servant.

"I said…" the White Witch said as she turned to me, coldness seeping into her voice. "Where is Aslan?"

I glanced over at Mr. Tumnus before replying. "I…I don't know," I admitted as I looked up at the White Witch. "I left before they said anything." I knew that this wasn't what she wanted to hear, but I couldn't let her hit Mr. Tumnus again. "I…I wanted to see you," I added.

"Guard!" She yelled so suddenly that it caused me to jump in fright.

"Your majesty," the guard said in a deep voice as he walked into the cell.

"Release the faun," she ordered as she looked at me. I smile a little as I looked over at him, thinking that he was going to be released. But there was a look in his eye that made my smile faded as fast as it came as he was grabbed and dragged out of the cell. "Do you know why you're here, faun?" She demanded as he slowly looked up at her.

"Because I believe…in a free Narnia," he responded.

"You're here," she said harshly, "because _he_," she pointed her staff at me, "turned you in. For _sweets."_ Mr. Tumnus looked at me, and I couldn't look him in the eye for betraying him, so I lowered my head. "Take him upstairs," the White Witch ordered. I watched, trembling, as the guard carried Mr. Tumnus away. His gaze burned into my memory as he was dragged off. "And ready my sleigh," she added before looking at me. "Edmund misses his family." She gave me one last look before leaving the cell with her servant.

I wrapped my arms around my knees and brought them to my chest and I rested my forehead on my arms as I willed myself not to cry.

I felt a hand on my collar again and I was jerked onto my feet. I didn't hear the White Witch return so her grabbing me startled me. My cheeks felt frozen because of the tears that had dried on them.

"Why're you crying?" She demanded as she looked at me. Her cold gray eyes made it hard for me not to look away. Before I could respond she threw me back down onto the ice. I heard a lout metallic _clank_ and looked down to see that my ankles were free. I was pulled to my feet roughly and I almost stumbled but I caught my balance. "Come here," she ordered once I turned to face her.

I walked towards her slowly, not knowing what she was going to do. She clamped a hand down on my shoulder and her cold fingers bit into my shoulder bone. "They weren't there when the wolves attacked, they had to have known the wolves were coming. What do they know?"

"Nothing!" I gasped as she started squeezing her hand and I shut my eyes from the pain. "They don't know anything. It was a mere coincidence!"

"Liar!" She hissed before backslapping me across the face. I stumbled but stayed on my feet as I held my stinging face. "Turn around!" She barked as she tapped the top of her staff with her fingers. I just stared at her, trembling. "Don't make me repeat myself!"

"Yes ma'am," I muttered as I slowly turned around. I could hear her moving but I didn't know what she was doing. I heard a loud snap and it felt like fire exploded on my back. I cried out in pain and fell onto my knees as tears started to fall.

"On your feet!" She yelled, her voice echoing through the chamber. I shakily got to my feet, knowing not to turn around and look at her.

I heard the snap and once again felt the fire on my back. I squeezed my eyes shut as I bit my lip to keep from crying out loud at the pain. The pain worsened with each loud snap until I didn't think I was able to keep in the scream that was trying to force it's way up my throat.

I felt a shove from behind and I landed forward on the ice, gasping, to try and control my breathing as I heard her walking away. "We'll leave in a few minutes," was all she said before she closed the door to the cell, it's slam echoing through the large chamber.

I slowly lay down so my stomach was resting against the ice. Then, eyes still closed, I rolled onto my back. I let out a hiss of pain as I struggled to get my breath back. It was robbed from me when the pain set it. I held my breath and counted to ten slowly, before I let it out. I did this numerous times until I couldn't feel the pain.

I could hear her coming back but I didn't say anything, I didn't do anything. She got closer and closer and I concentrated on my breathing. _'In. Out. In Out.'_

"Edmund," she said calmly, in a tone that was unlike her. "Come with me, it is time to leave." I stayed there, I didn't want to move. It hurt too much to move. "_Edmund_!"

I knew that she meant for me to get up right then and there. I slowly rolled over and forced myself onto my feet. Once I was on my feet she grabbed my shoulder again and pushed me out of the cell.

"Wh…where are we going?" I asked as I stumbled out of the chamber.

"We're going to find your brother and sisters…as you _promised_ me," she said as she squeezed my shoulder again. "And you better hope they don't get away this time."

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**If you didn't get it, this is a flashback chapter. I will randomly insert flashbacks into this story, so stay on your toes.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: 'Cause You Always Learn to Hold the Things you Want to Say**

"Edmund, what's bothering you?" Peter asked the next morning as he peered at his brother's face. Edmund grunted in reply with a tiny shoulder shrug. He let out a breath and continued to stir his oatmeal around with his spoon. His left palm was resting on his left cheek, holding up his face. Peter feared if Edmund's hand was pushed out of the way then he'd slam his head on the table because he was so tired.

Edmund tossed and turned the entire night, muttering things about ice and it being cold. Peter stayed awake watching him until he was lulled asleep. Now Edmund looked pale and tired, he had dark circles around his eyes and his eyes themselves were puffy and red as if he'd been crying.

"Ed, you have to eat something," Peter tried to coax him.

"You're not my Mother!" Edmund grumbled as he pushed his oatmeal away from himself and rubbed his eyes as he yawned. He used both of his hands to prop up his chin this time, but eventually his elbows slid out from underneath him and he rested his head on the table. Peter leaned over and put his ear down near Edmund's level. He could hear Edmund breathing softly, which signaled to him that Edmund was asleep.

Peter stared at his brother in concern before picking up his spoon and continued to finish eating. He looked up from his food and always rested his eyes on Edmund, as if waiting for him to do something.

Peter turned around his seat and looked out the large window, straight across the street to see St. Finbar. He wondered if Lucy or Susan has noticed that Edmund has been acting different lately, but he hesitated to bring it up them. Susan would become a mother sort of figure that would get on Edmund's nerves and Lucy would pester him about it.

"I'll talk to them about it today," Peter decided before continuing to eat his food. He decided to let Edmund continue sleeping so he would be awake for his class, even though Peter knew it was a useless thought. Even if Edmund was physically in school, he was never mentally in school. The advantages to it is the fact that they all ready learned about a lot of things while they were in Narnia, but Edmund used that excuse one too many times, claiming that he had all ready learned everything, and had to be sent to the principal's office for talking back. His grades were good which proved he knew what he was doing, but he tested authority too many times.

The scraping of chairs startled Edmund and he shot his head up, looking around with wide eyes. He relaxed when he noticed Peter standing and putting his bowl back on his tray to clear their eating area.

"Maybe you should just go to the nurse or something? You don't look well at all," Peter said as he put his hand on Edmund's shoulder.

"I'm fine," he grumbled as he shrugged Peter's hand off of his shoulder and shuffled by Peter's side. "Really, I am."

"Still, I want you to go by her office later today," Peter continued. "And I don't want to hear about you passing out in the middle of class or something."

"Ok ok, get off my back!" Edmund groaned as he rubbed his head and picked up his pace to get away from him. Peter let a breath out through his nose before taking a turn down the hall to get to his class. He stopped by his room to grab his books before going to his first class, which was History.

"Now I can see why Edmund never paid attention," Peter muttered to himself. Ten minutes into the class and all ready he was bored, but that was only because he had all ready learned what he needed to know. He was glad that they discovered Narnia, not because he was the High King there, but because he had the time to learn more there then he could back in England. "Maybe I've been too hard on him."

Peter looked out the window and could practically see Narnia forming in his mind: the tall trees, the cool breeze, the crystal clear lake with its breath-taking waterfall, and the lush emerald green grass that rolled for miles which was the canvas of Cair Paravel. He missed the large castle and its beautiful architecture, he missed the Narnians and the other creatures that inhabited the world, but most importantly he missed the adventures.

Many times he and his family have come close to death but they always found a way through it, together. They never let each other down and Peter knew that he would die if it would keep his family alive. He only wished there was a way to get back but, in the back of his mind, he knew that he had to wait for Narnia to call them back.

If he ever got called back...

"Mr. Pevensie, I'm glad you think my class is interesting, but I would love it if you weren't late to your next one," Professor Knightly said with a chuckle. Peter blinked and looked at him before looking around at the empty classroom. He let out an embarrassed chuckle before gathering his books. "Before you go, I would like to speak to you," he said before Peter could cross the room. "I'll write you a note for your next class."

"What's the problem?" Peter asked as he sat back down in an empty chair. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, this is about your brother," Professor Knightly responded as he leaned against his desk, his arms crossed over his chest. Professor Knightly taught History to every grade level of the boarding school. He was a great teacher and fair when he had to deal with students. A lot of the students like him and a majority of the time he would be see helping students outside of class or teaching them something that he learned from his travels.

"What did he do now?" Peter asked.

"A better question is what he _doesn't_ do," Professor Knightly corrected him. "Edmund hasn't been paying attention in class. I'm surprised his grades are as good as they are." He let out a chuckle before his face returned its serious look. "But I've noticed a slight change in him. He's paler than usual and he doesn't look like he's gotten much sleep."

"I've noticed the same thing," Peter admitted. "I tried to get him to go to the nurse but he says he's fine. I'll keep a better watch over him though."

"Don't get too controlling," Professor Knightly warned him as he got ready to leave.

"What do you mean by that?" Peter asked.

"I've taught you for a couple of years now; I know what you're like. You feel that you can take care of things by yourself until they get way too out of hand. I don't want you to do the same thing this time; you're dealing with your brother's life." He smiled before adding, "No pressure."

Peter smiled a little before thanking him and leaving the room. The smile immediately faded once the door closed behind him. He knew that Professor Knightly was right; he had to keep an eye on Edmund. It couldn't be too hard, they _did_ share a room.

* * *

"Ed!" Edmund looked up and blinked to force his eyes open. He was so tired that they always tried to close on their own and he had to force them open. Once his eyes were successfully open he looked around before they rested on Caleb Hale. Caleb was the closest thing Edmund had to a friend. Caleb was quiet and thoughtful and he never judged anyone. "How are you?" He asked in his natural quiet voice as he sat down next to Edmund.

"Tired," Edmund responded as he leaned against the tree that was behind him. The two watched quietly as everyone else in their class played dodge ball. Edmund was excused for his 'condition', which was what the teacher called it. "Why aren't you playing?"

"Hmm? Oh! I have a note from my Mother excusing me for a while, I hurt my arm," he said as he lifted it to show the dark brace that was on his arm.

"What happened?"

"I fell out of a tree," he responded. "I was racing Eli and I slipped and fell on my arm. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital. The good thing is I didn't break it, I thought I did since it hurt so much." Edmund just nodded as he let out a breath and closed his eyes. He drifted into a light sleep but he could still hear the other boys grunting and shouting at each other. "Edmund?"

"Hmmm?" Edmund muttered without opening his eyes.

"What's really wrong?" Caleb asked. Edmund forced his eyes open and looked over at Caleb. Caleb looked back with his intense green eyes that made Edmund feel like a little kid who got in trouble. Edmund bit his lip. He wanted to tell Caleb, but he didn't even know what was wrong himself. Besides, there would be no way Caleb would understand and Edmund would have to reveal one of his close-kept secrets. "And don't say it's nothing," he continued. "I can tell that something is bothering you. I can practically see it in your eyes so don't deny it."

"I have hard time sleeping," Edmund responded after thinking for a couple of minutes. "Ask Peter," he added when he noticed that Caleb wouldn't stop giving him a suspicious look, "He'll tell you if you don't believe me."

"It's not that I don't believe you, I believe you Ed," Caleb didn't hesitate to correct him. "I just think there's something else you're not telling me."

"Everyone's entitled to their own secrets," Edmund said with a shrug.

"But it's not good to hold ones that ruin your sleep," Caleb protested. Edmund opened his eyes and was getting ready to respond when the bell sounded, signaling that it was Free Hour. The other guys went rushing into the school and Caleb stood to do the same. He brushed off his pants and looked down at Edmund who hadn't moved. "Aren't you coming?"

"No," Edmund responded. "I'm going to stay here."

"You know it will only give you a better chance of getting Andrew on your case, right?" Caleb asked. He hadn't moved a muscle which signaled Edmund that Caleb was going to stay if he needed to.

"I know, but he doesn't own this tree," Edmund responded. "You go on ahead, don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"If you say so," Caleb said with a shrug as he brushed his dirty blond hair out of his eyes. He walked away and looked back only once before going into the school. Edmund let out a breath and let sleep overtake him.

* * *

"Excuse me, miss? I'm looking for Susan and Lucy Pevensie," Peter said to the lady at the desk in the offices of St. Finbar.

"What business do you have with them?" The receptionist asked as she peered at Peter over the frame of her glasses.

"Family emergency," Peter responded.

"Hold on." The receptionist turned to the telephone that was sitting on the desk, spun the dial a couple of times, and waited for someone on the other end to pick up. Peter waited patiently as she spoke to someone on the other line. "They will be here shortly," she announced after she hung up the phone.

Peter nodded and sat down in a chair as he waited. Almost ten minutes later Susan and Lucy came into the offices, panting. He ushered them into the hallway where the whirled around to face him.

"Well? What's the emergency?" Susan demanded.

"Is Mum ok?" Lucy asked.

"Mum's fine," Peter told her.

"Then what's the emergency?" Susan asked.

"Ed's the emergency," Peter finally told them. "Something's wrong with him but he won't tell me what it is."

"That's not surprising really," Susan said as she let out a sigh and gave Peter a hard look as if blaming him for everything. "Edmund's never revealed much about himself ever since Dad left. Did you really think he'd change now?"

"No, there's something worse," Peter told her. "He isn't sleeping, he isn't eating. His grades are falling, and he keeps telling me that everything with him is ok when I know it's not."

"Maybe we can talk to him," Lucy suggested.

"It'll have to wait until tomorrow," Peter said as he looked at the clock that was on the wall. "Free Hour is almost over."

"What're you going to do, Peter?" Susan asked.

"I tried to get him to go to the nurse, but he wouldn't go," Peter explained. "Professor Knightly even confronted me about Edmund's behavior so someone else noticed it besides me. I guess the only thing I can do now is make sure he eats something and makes sure he goes to sleep tonight. After that we can confront him and find out what's going on in his head."

"What if he runs away?" Lucy asked.

"We'll strap him to a chair," Peter responded. "Whatever it takes to get him to sit down we'll do it. Come over to my dorm tomorrow during Free Hour. It may take longer than one day to get him to crack, so be prepared."

"How long ago did this happen? Did he start to change suddenly or was it after we got back?" Susan asked as she lowered her voice to make sure no one overheard her.

"It was sudden," Peter responded. "This has me even more worried."

"We'll figure this out, Pete," Lucy said as she stepped forwards to give him a hug. "We'll make sure Edmund goes back to normal. You'll see."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: You're Always Going to be Afraid**

"Focus, Ed, focus," he told himself as the words on the book in front of him blurred. He blinked to clear his vision but the words blended together once more. He placed his hands on the side of the desk and pushed back on it so he was balancing in his chair on the back two legs. "Some sleep would do you some good."

He knew that he couldn't go to sleep, that he didn't _want_ to go to sleep. If he slept, he would have to see _her_ again and he wanted to stay away from her as long as possible. He knew what she could do and he didn't want have to experience it ever again.

He kept himself awake, trying to find out why that was happening to him and if there was a way to stop it. He came up with nothing, no reason as to why this was happening at this point in time all of a sudden.

He glanced at the mug that held coffee and made a face as he reached for it. He never liked the taste of coffee but he forced himself to drink it because it had the caffeine he needed to stay awake. He squeezed his eyes as he took a large gulp of the drink. Once it went down his throat he pulled a face and immediately put the cup back.

His head started to pound and the shouting that was coming from outside only made it worse. He went over to his bed and lay down; only getting a few minutes of peace and quiet before the door flung open and a mass of red hair ran in his direction.

"Ouch," Edmund grunted when Lucy landed on his chest. "What have you been eating over at your school?"

Lucy smacked Edmund playfully on the arm before wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug. Edmund gently patted her on the back with one arm, which was what Lucy expected. She sat back and smiled brightly at him as his eyes shifted from her, to Susan, to Peter who was standing by the door, staring at him.

"What's going on?" He demanded as he sat up, keeping his eyes on Peter. "Why are you here?"

"We wanted to see you," Susan replied, keeping her eyes locked firmly on him.

"Bull," he muttered as his eyes narrowed. "You had chances before but you never came. Why did you want to see me now all of a sudden?"

"We have to do work too," Susan said in an offended tone. "It's not like we have parties over there all of the time. We're actually there to work."

"Yeah, all two of you," Edmund snorted, referring to Susan and her friend Beth. Aside from Lucy and some girls in her grade, Susan and Beth were the only girls at St. Finbar that seemed to actually want to be there to get an education. The others talked about nylons, lipsticks, and invitations. Edmund had a feeling that it was only a matter of time before Susan and Beth became one of those girls and he hoped against hope that Lucy would never become one of them. In his mind, Lucy was like him and Peter, always looking for an adventure. "Really, why are you here?" He directed the question to Peter than his sisters.

"We're worried about you," Peter finally spoke up as he came to the center of the room. Susan and Lucy turned to look at him before looking back at Edmund.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, moving Lucy off of his lap so he could stand. Susan placed her hand on his chest and pushed him back so he was sitting on the bed once more.

"No you're not," Peter replied as he shook his head.

"Yes I am," Edmund replied as he jumped to his feet and tried to leave the room but Peter grabbed his shoulders and held him at arm's length.

"No, you're not!" Peter all but yelled in his face. "You're not sleeping, you're not eating, you're pale, you have dark circles under your eyes, and you don't have the energy that you had before. Something's wrong with you and we're not going to let you leave until you tell us what it is."

"What about your studies?" Edmund sneered. "That's all you seem to care about."

"That's not true and you know it," Peter hissed. He would hit Edmund if he had to, if Edmund kept provoking him. He knew he would end up regretting it but if it would knock Edmund to his senses he wouldn't hesitate to do it. A shiver rolled down Edmund's spine when he felt something cool on the back of his neck. _No, not again. Please, don't take me again. _Peter's eyebrows knitted together when a scared look came across Edmund's features. "Edmund?" Peter questioned as he shook his brother.

"Edmund, what's wrong?" Susan asked as his breathing starting to come out labored. "Edmund? Edmund?"

"No..." he said, barely above a whisper. Lucy rushed to his side and hugged him around the waist to see if she could calm him down. She was surprised to feel him trembling under her touch.

"Edmund, stay with us," Peter called as he shook Edmund, to try and bring him back. He could see a distant look in Edmund's eyes that covered what he was really feeling: fear.

Edmund blinked and could feel himself slipping, being pulled away from them. He brought up his hands to grab onto Peter for something to hold onto but he was moving in slow motion, as if he were underwater.

"Edmund! Edmund!"

He could hear his family shouting his name to get their attention, but it sounded so distant to him, like he was underwater and he was going to be held there until he suffocated.

"Come back to me, Edmund," her voice filled his ears as he tried harder to get out of the hold that was slowly constricting him.

"No!" He yelled as he tried to fight against it as fear made his heart pound against his chest.

"You ruined my plan once. Now, you'll pay for it. Come to me, Edmund."

"No! No! Leave me alone!"

He blinked rapidly as his vision started to blur. It cleared up a little bit every time he blinked but the blurriness came back faster and faster each time. He finally grabbed onto Peter's arms. "Peter! Help me! Help me!" He shouted, but his voice was muffled. Almost everything was silent now, he could barely hear his siblings yelling at him as he felt his strength fade away.

He was suddenly pulled backwards, as if there was a hook in the collar of his shirt. He felt his hands sliding off of Peter's arms and he desperately grabbed at Peter's hands. He held on for as long as he could before he was finally pulled away into the white abyss. He was floating, he couldn't hear anything. Everything around him was cold.

He finally landed in the packed snow, knocking the wind out of him. He struggled to get his breath back as he started shivering uncontrollably. _I...I had them in my grasp...I don't want to be here! I want to go back!_

Edmund slowly lifted his head when a carriage came into his view. He gulped when he saw Jadis's smiling face.

"It's good to see you again, Edmund," she said icily. "I've missed you."

* * *

"Peter!" Susan wailed. "Where did Edmund go? Where did he go?"

Peter didn't know how to answer the question. A few seconds before, he had Edmund in his grasp. He could feel Edmund being pulled away from him as Edmund's body heat dropped and his hands felt like ice. Peter tried to hold on as long as he could but Edmund was pulled out of his grasp and he disappeared into thin air. If Susan wasn't trying to get Peter's attention he would've thought that it was a bad dream.

"Peter, it was Narnia," Lucy announced.

"What?" Peter and Susan asked in shock.

"It was Narnia," Lucy repeated.

"How can you be so sure?" Peter asked. "We don't...it just..."

"It _had_ to be Narnia," Lucy insisted. "Narnia is the only thing with enough magic to pull someone back like that, I know it is."

"We have to get Edmund back," Peter whispered. "We have to get back to Narnia."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Broken Down Like a Mirror Smashed to Pieces**

Edmund slowly lifted his head when a carriage came into his view. He gulped when he saw Jadis's smiling face.

"It's good to see you again, Edmund," she said icily. "I've missed you."

Edmund trembled from head to toe. Imagines and sounds of his past slammed into his brain and made him reel. He held his head as his stomach started to turn and he turned away from the source of his pain.

Get away Edmund...Get away...

Edmund turned and started running. He didn't really know where he was going, despite exploring the land during the Golden Age. Usually his internal compass would always lead him right to where he was going, but it was as if fear had locked onto his brain and told him to just run and run fast.

Edmund pushed tree branches out of his way, blinking the falling snow out of his eyes. _Move faster, get away. Move faster, Edmund. Get safe. Find a place to hide._ Fearful thought after fearful thought slammed into his brain as he forced his legs to maintain their speed so he could get away.

He could hear the sleigh moving at a fast pace behind him. His breath came out as a white fog in front of him. His chest ached from gasping for air and running so much. He started to slow down. His legs screamed at him to stop moving but his brain told him to keep going to safety.

"I have to get out of here," Edmund whispered as he quickly looked around himself. "How can I get out?" He racked his brain as he paused briefly to get his breath back. Adrenaline made his heart pump as his eyes darted around. "The light post!"

He started running in what he thought was the direction of the light post that would take him back to Professor Kirke's home. He could feel Jadis's eyes burning holes into the back of Edmund's head, which made him run faster. His legs burned but he was cold all over. Heat and ice took over his body.

Heat.

Ice.

Heat.

Ice.

Burning.

Freezing.

Pulling.

Clawing.

Dragging him down into the darkness, making him weaker and weaker with every step he took. He couldn't breathe, something was pressing down on his chest, stopping his airflow. He struggled forward.

He couldn't feel his legs.

_Keep moving, Edmund. Keep moving._

The gray sky melted into the white background of the landscape ahead of him. Swirling, mixing, becoming a part of Edmund's nightmare. He stumbled and fell to his knees. He tried to get up but fell over again. He tried once more and fell face forward.

Tired.

Exhausted.

_Weak..._

* * *

"You have a traitor in your midst, Aslan," Jadis announced, to the shock of the Narnian army. She smiled smugly as Edmund gulped and looked up at Peter. Peter looked back at him with an expression of loathing. Edmund lowered his head and stared at the ground."His offence was not against you," Aslan pointed out in a calm tone.

"Have you forgotten the Deep Magic?" Jadis hissed, locking her cold eyes onto Aslan.

"Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, Witch!" Aslan snarled, causing Edmund to tremble in fear. "I was there when it was made."

The silence that fell around the group added more onto Edmund's nerves. His palms flooded with sweat and he clenched and unclenched his hands into fists. He swallowed hard to calm his heavily beating heart.

"Then you will know that the boy belongs to me," Jadis announced. She then turned to the crowd. "That boy-" she pointed right at Edmund, a small smirk slid onto her face "-will die on the Stone Table."

"Come and take it then," Peter told her with disgust. Edmund's eyes widened as he looked up at his older brother. Surely Edmund heard wrong. His brother wouldn't hand him over to die like that, would he? "Take him if you want him so bad. He deserves it."

"Peter!" Edmund gasped. Tears filled his eyes as he turned to Susan. "Su, talk some sense into him."

Susan looked back and forth between Peter and Edmund before finally resting her eyes on Edmund. "I'm sorry Ed, but I agree with Peter this time," she whispered. Edmund's heart dropped a little more.

"Lucy!" He begged, grabbing her shoulders and looking her in the eye. "Please! Don't let them do this to me! I'm your brother!"

"No you're not!" Lucy snapped, shoving Edmund's hands away. He backed away as if he had been burnt. "You aren't my brother! You're someone else. The old Edmund wouldn't treat me like a little kid. He wouldn't lie to me. He wouldn't make fun of me. He would protect me. He wouldn't give us away to the White With like you did, traitor! You're a traitor!"

Edmund felt like he had been stabbed in the heart. His own family...was sentencing him to death. This couldn't be possible.

"I...I'm not a traitor!" Edmund begged, tears falling freely down his face. "I'm not! She...she wouldn't let me leave. She threatened to kill you if I didn't bring her here. I was stopping her from killing you guys! I'm not a traitor! I'm not!"

"If only we could believe you," Peter sighed, slowly shaking his head. He looked up at Jadis. "Take him away."

* * *

Edmund awoke with a start. He was shivering uncontrollably. He didn't have to look around to know where he was. With a sinking feeling he knew that he had been captured. He ran away and he wasn't strong enough to get away. He felt like a failure.

He was strong before. He was able to fight her powers. He was able to fight her bringing her back. But he let down a wall and he let her take her.

Then he tried to run away and he let her take him again.

Edmund held his head in his hands and broke down. He couldn't stop the tears that were falling out of his eyes. He knew what would happen to him in the future and he prayed that Peter would find a way to get to him as soon as possible.

"A king of Narnia...reduced to a blithering mess...how pathetic of Aslan to make you king!"

Edmund flinched when he heard Jadis's voice. He could feel the pain from his torture as if it happened to him yesterday. Now that Jadis was tearing him down, he couldn't help but take in what she said and question why he was made a king in the first place.

He was a traitor.

He led Jadis to his brothers and sisters and they could've been killed because of him.

Aslan sacrificed himself so Edmund could stay alive and he hadn't thanked him properly.

Edmund's body shook with sobs as he continued to cry.

He didn't think he'd ever stop.

He didn't think he'd ever escape Jadis.

He didn't think he'd make it out alive this time.

* * *

**Sorry it took me so long to update this story. I lost inspiration for a bit but now I'm back. You'll see Peter, Susan, and Lucy more in the next chapter. Please read and review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: You Learn the Hard Way to Shut Your Mouth and Smile**

"Peter, what are we going to do?" Susan asked.

"Will you _stop_ asking me that? I don't know!" Peter snapped, continuing to pace around the room. He didn't mean to yell at her, the hurt look on his face made him instantly regret it, but it's not every day that your brother disappears from the room when you were just holding him in your arms.

"There's something else you should be worrying about," Lucy spoke up. For the past five minutes she's been hugging Edmund's pillow and crying her eyes out. Her voice came out slightly raspy, her nose was red, and her eyes were puffy and watery. Peter and Susan both turned to look at her. "What're you going to tell his teachers when he doesn't show up for class? They're going to notice that he's gone after a couple of hours, a few days tops if you use the excuse that he's sick, but that wouldn't work. Edmund's never gotten sick a day in his life."

Peter groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. There was no way he was going to be able to pull off the charade and get his studies done. He couldn't do both and he knew that one would beat out the other in the long run. He made a split decision and walked over to his closet. He flung open the door and started rummaging for his suitcase.

"What are you doing?" Susan asked slowly, as if afraid of what his answer would be.

"I'm packing," Peter responded without looking at her as he went to his dresser to pull out some clothes.

"Packing for what?"

"Are we going back to Narnia?" Lucy gasped, a smile starting to form on her face.

"Yes we are," Peter replied as he looked at her briefly to give her a smile. Her smile got bigger as she jumped off of the bed and rushed over to him. She threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. He chuckled and squeezed her back.

"Peter, we can't!" Susan said as she jumped to her feet.

"Do you want to get Edmund back?" He demanded.

"We don't even know if that's where he went," Susan pointed out.

"Where else can he be? No one disappears out of thin air like that, and don't try and deny it. You _know_ that's where he went."

"There could be other explanations," Susan tried. "He–"

"Susan! There is no other explanation. Stop trying to be so ruddy smart!" Peter snapped at her. A hurt look crossed her features. She let out a huff and stomped out of his room, slamming the door behind herself. Lucy winced at the sound and gently placed her hand on Peter's shoulder.

"We'll get him back. It'll be ok," Lucy whispered.

Peter was half listening to her, though. He was too busy blaming himself for letting Edmund slip through his fingers like that. He knew that Edmund had been acting funny but he pushed it out of his mind, thinking that Edmund was just retrograding back to his old self for the time being.

'_I should've paid more attention to him! I knew something was wrong, I knew it. Why didn't I see this coming?' _Peter brushed Lucy away and continued moving on autopilot around the room. He almost lost Edmund two times before, he couldn't believe he could lose him again.

He was so afraid that Edmund was killed in their battle against Jadis. If Lucy hadn't come when she did…he couldn't even think about it. Edmund was more than his brother, Edmund was Peter's best friend, the only one he trusted with stuff that he couldn't even tell Lucy.

They just shared that unbreakable bond that brothers have. Many times Peter forgot that it was there and took Edmund for granted many times, especially while he was High King of Narnia. Peter slammed his fist down on his dresser, starling Lucy and causing her to jump.

He hated feeling helpless. He never wanted to feel that way again. He made that a promise to himself that he has managed to keep since he was six and Edmund was three. Peter remembered it like it was yesterday. He remembered their old home, before they moved to the home that would hold the future bomb shelter for them. He remembered the woods and the stream, and the incident…

The two had snuck off during nap time, leaving the house quietly to make sure not to wake up their newest baby sister, Lucy. She cried when she got startled and she got startled easily. One small sound and she would wake up crying loudly.

Peter held onto Edmund's hand as the two went tearing across the backyard, as fast as their small legs could take them. They looked over their shoulder before Peter lifted a branch that was in the way and the two scurried underneath it. They followed the path deeper and deeper into the woods.

"C'mon, Ed, try and catch me," Peter said with a laugh as he dropped his brother's hand and ran off. He continued laughing as he heard Edmund struggling to catch up with him. He ran even faster, trying to get as far away as possible so he could scare little Edmund. He looked around and spotted a river nearby. Peter ran over to it and stopped, looking down at the water.

It had swelled from the recent rainfall that they had gotten. The water was mere inches away from the log bridge that gave way to a path on either side. Peter went over the bridge many times before and nothing happened.

"Pee-tah!" He heard Edmund's voice in the background. It was faint but it was getting closer.

Peter scurried across the bridge, almost losing his balance once but he continued running down the path. He finally found the perfect hiding spot. A large bush by the path. He could hide there and jump out at Edmund once he got there.

Peter crouched down behind the bush and covered his mouth with his hand. He tried to stop himself from laughing, but seeing the image of Edmund's terrified face made him laugh harder. He sat down and got comfortable, drawing random pictures in the mud that was in front of him. He waited patiently for his brother to come by, listening closely to hear the little pitter-patter of Edmund's feet and his call of, "Pee-tah!"

It didn't come.

Peter waited for five minutes.

Then ten.

And then ten more.

Still no Edmund. Peter was bored sitting there, waiting for Edmund to catch up. He knew that he had run ahead of Edmund, but he didn't think it would take him that long to reach Peter. He let out a breath of annoyance before recoiling when a water droplet hit his nose. He wiped it away and looked up, only to get a water droplet on his forehead. He also wiped that away as the drops started to come down more frequently, before it started to pour. The musky smell of the woods rose as the rain pelted the ground. Peter pulled his jacket hood over his head and struggled to keep dry as he waited for Edmund.

"Mum coming soon," he muttered to himself as he pushed himself to his feet. "I'll get Ed and go home." He slowly walked back towards the log bridge, stepping around the puddles that were forming on the dirt ground. Happily, he jumped in every puddle, trying to get the splash of water higher than the one before. He was getting ready to run to the last puddle, to make a big splash when he heard it.

"Pee-tah, help!"

"Ed?" Peter lifted his head and looked around. The woods were darker than before. It seemed like Edmund's small voice came from everywhere around him.

"Pee-tah!" Edmund called again. His voice was garbled because of the pounding rain.

"Ed!" Peter shouted, cupping his hands over his mouth.

"Pee-tah, help!" Edmund yelled again. Peter strained to find out where his voice was coming from. He frantically wiped the rain that was falling into his eyes. _'Where is he? Where?'_ "Pee-tah, help!" Edmund's voice was filled with fear.

"I'm coming, Ed!" Peter shouted, running back to the bridge. He ran faster than he has ever run before. He didn't stop when a branch snagged on his coat. He just kept going, ignoring the hole that it ripped in his jacket. He turned a corner and saw Edmund clinging to the bridge with his small hands, his legs dangling over the river.

"Pee-tah!" Edmund shouted when he saw Peter. "Help!"

"Ed!" Peter ran to the bridge and jumped on, only to slide right off it and onto the ground by how slippery the bridge now was. "Ed, hold on."

"I scared," Edmund whimpered as he held on tighter.

"I'll get you, Ed. I promise." Peter looked around frantically as Edmund started crying. Peter grabbed a nearby branch that was on the ground. He got back onto the bridge but on his stomach this time. He slid himself over to Edmund and held out the branch. "Ed, grab." He held the branch out.

Edmund slowly let go of the bridge with one hand and reached out for the branch. He tried to grasp it but he grasped air and quickly brought his hand back to the bridge. "I can't. I too scared. Pee-tah get me," he whined.

"Ok. I'm coming." Peter threw the branch away and made his way towards Edmund slowly.

"Hurry!" Edmund whined.

"I'm coming," Peter repeated, getting closer to his brother.

"I slipping!" Edmund cried out as he tried to grasp the bridge even tighter. Rain fell all around them but Peter knew that it was tears that were falling down his cheeks. "Hurry!"

Peter moved faster as he saw his brother's hands slipping off of the log. He grabbed his brother's hands as Edmund let go. Edmund looked up into Peter's eyes, fear bursting through his brown eyes. Peter smiled a little and tried to pull Edmund up, but his arms were too weak. He tried as hard as he could, but he couldn't lift his brother. _'Don't let go. Don't let go,'_ he told himself.

"Peter! Edmund!" They heard a masculine voice yell.

"Daddy!" The two shouted in unison. Mr. Pevensie rushed over to his kids and easily lifted them both into his arms. Edmund wrapped his arms around his father's neck as Peter followed his father to the other side of the river.

"It's ok, Edmund, it's ok," Mr. Pevensie said as he gently stroked Edmund's hair. He held out his other hand which Peter took and they began their long walk home.

Peter kept his head down the entire way.

"Peter, are you ok?" Lucy's voice brought him back to reality. He had been standing in front of the window, watching the rain.

"I'm fine, Lu," he replied, still staring out the window. "Go tell Susan to pack her bags and then meet me on the front lawn. We'll get a cab to take us to the train station, take us back to Professor Diggory's house, explain it to him, and then get back to Narnia."

"What if we can't get back?" Lucy whispered.

"We _will_ get back, Lu," Peter said in a stern tone before he added, "I wonder how much time passed…we've been gone for only three months."

"We'll see when we get there, I guess," Lucy said with a shrug.

"All right, go to your room now. We must leave as soon as possible," Peter said as he turned around. Lucy nodded and went to the door. "Lu?" She stopped and turned to look at him. "Could you apologize for me?"

"You know you need to, Peter," Lucy replied, leaving the room. When she shut the door Peter flopped down on his bed, giving himself a little break. His muscles ached, but his heart was what hurt the most. He wanted to kill Jadis for hurting Edmund, for making him feel like a traitor, for giving him emotional scars that he couldn't talk to Peter about. He wanted to kill Jadis for taking his brother away from him.

He got up abruptly and grabbed his bag, turning the light off behind himself and closing the door. He walked down the hallway as fast as he could so he wouldn't get caught by the hall monitors. Technically he should either be on the lawn, in his room, or the library studying since it was Study Hour, but his brother was more important.

As he made his way down to the offices he created a lie in his mind. He has always been told not to lie, but this was one time that he had to make an exception. When the secretary asked why he had to leave, he left it down to a family emergency. The suitcase held both his and Edmund's clothes and that Edmund was all ready outside waiting for him. He held his breath as he waited for the secretary's response.

"All right. I hope your family emergency gets cleared up," she said with a smile.

Peter returned her smile and left the building. How easy it was to hide things behind his smile. No one second guessed him, all because of his charming smile. He could probably get away with murder with his smile.

He met Lucy and Susan on the lawn like he asked. Lucy had an excited smile on her face while Susan had a sour one on hers. "A cab should be here any second. Did you pack enough clothes?" Lucy nodded and Susan stayed silent, glaring up the street.

"What?" Peter demanded.

"I still don't think–" She started.

"That's your problem," he interrupted her. "You're thinking too much." He looked up when he heard the horn of a cab honking. The cabbie got out and picked up their suitcases, putting it into the back of the car. Peter relayed the directions over to the driver as he got into the backseat next to Lucy, who was in the middle. Peter closed the door and buckled up as the car pulled forward and away from their respective schools.

'_Don't worry Ed. We're coming for you.'_

* * *

**A/N: See, I made a longer chapter for you. I hope this makes up for my past shorter ones. I'm on summer break now so I should be updating more frequently. Please read and review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: If These Walls could talk they'd have so Much to Say**

Edmund tried to get up but his face was stuck to the ice wall that he had fallen asleep against. He tried to pull away but stopped when he felt pain in his cheek. He tried to look around to find something that would help him pry his cheek away from the wall.

"Aww, the Just King is having trouble…who's the weak one now?"

Edmund let out a cry of pain when he was suddenly ripped away from the wall. He raised his hand to check if his cheek was still there, and he was relieved to know that it was still attached. The pain was dull because his cheeks were practically numb but the cold didn't stop the pain of her fingers biting into his shoulder.

"Come!"

He was yanked to his feet and was shoved in front of her. He tired to plant his feet on the ground to stop her from taking him but his feet slid against the glassy surface. A few of her wolves pushed against him, urging him forward against his will. She shoved him into his sleigh and got in before urging the horses forward.

The cool wind stung Edmund's eyes as he tried to keep them open but the wind forced them shut. He didn't know where he was going, which was what scared him the most. What would she do with him? Would she take him to a secluded area and finish him right then and there? Would she keep him in Narnia as her slave until he withered away, fragile and weak? Would she turn him to stone and keep him forever? His mind raced and his stomach churned. The vibrations from the moving sled weren't helping at all.

Looking up he locked eyes with Jadis, who seemed to notice the look of nausea on his face. She merely smiled and looked back up to the horizon, humming a tune under her breath. Edmund wrapped his arms around himself tighter, imagining that he was in a warm place, or he was being hugged.

Hugging.

Something he took for granted back home, just like his family. Lucy always tried to hug him but he'd remain stiff or shove her away. "It's embarrassing" he'd say "to have your little sister hug you all the time." Or he'd make an excuse about being a man and men don't hug. Lucy would immediately shoot that back in his face with Peter, of course.

Edmund was always compared to Peter and he hated it. He _wasn't_ Peter; therefore he shouldn't be compared to his older brother. And yet, the Just king felt like a part of him was missing when he wasn't compared to Peter. He felt…empty when he wasn't being compared to Peter's open mind or Peter's bravery.

Peter wasn't all that special. He could be really hard headed sometimes. He wouldn't let anyone's opinion change his mind when it's been made up. That's the basis of most of their fights. Peter continued to see Edmund as a little kid while Edmund desperately tried to make himself something that Peter could be proud of. It was hard, especially when Peter has all ready done something and been praised for it when Edmund started to do the same.

"Here we are."

Edmund slowly lifted his head, forcing himself to keep his lunch down. His eyes widened when he looked up at the large castle. He remembered everything about it. Every secret passage, every piece of stone, every tapestry, everything.

It's hard to forget your own home, especially when it's as grand as Cair Paravel. Even though his heart soared to see his old home it also clenched in fear. Every single life changing moment that happened in the castle hit him all at once, causing tears to spring to his eyes.

He didn't want to remember.

* * *

"Wake up." Peter gently nudged Lucy's shoulder until she forced her eyes open and squirmed in her seat. Susan looked around with sleepy eyes and yawned before pushing open the door to the door allowing cool air to swoop inside.

Peter paid the cabbie before sliding out. He helped the girls take out their bags and walked with them up the front stairs of Professor Diggory's home. Peter was sure this was what they had to do. Edmund needed them and this was the only way they could get to him.

Peter knocked on the door, not letting up until Mrs. Macready answered it, eyes wide behind her thick glasses and her mouth open. She moved out of the way to let them in, closing the door swiftly behind herself. She ushered them into the living room and told them to stay there until Professor Diggory got there.

"I still don't think this is a good idea," Susan's voice broke the silence.

Peter immediately cut his eyes at her. "You don't think this is a good idea?" He repeated. "What _is_ a good idea then, Su? Enlighten me," he ordered harshly. "Leaving our brother in Narnia? Letting him wander around by himself? Continuing on with our lives as if he wasn't here? Not caring that he just disappeared _in my arms_? Which of those do you think is a good idea, Su?"

Susan slowly shook her head as she glared at Peter, anger flashing in her eyes. Peter slumped in his seat, his arms crossed over his chest. Lucy looked back and forth between Susan and Peter, hating the weight of hostility that was settling in the room.

Lucy forced herself to get out of her seat, despite Mrs. Macready's orders, and rushed towards the bathroom. Once she got there she locked the door behind herself and looked in the mirror. _Is this what Edmund looked like? Was he this scared?_ Lucy studied her reflection in the mirror but had to tear her eyes away when she felt herself starting to cry. She wiped at her eyes, making sure no tears were going to fall out. When she deemed herself ready she pushed open the door and stepped out in the hall.

It was silent. Susan and Peter probably still weren't talking to each other. Lucy wanted to go back to them but she made a snap decision in her head and went the other way, following the path to the wardrobe. She pushed open the door and a familiar magical feeling fell over her as her eyes locked on the covered wooden stricter. She gripped the sheet and pulled it away, letting the material fall to the floor before grasping the knob.

She looked over her shoulder once before opening the wardrobe and stepped inside. She pushed her way past the coats, eyes closed, biting her lips as she prayed for access to Narnia and to her brother. She kept a hand out in front of her and she closed her eyes, expecting to feel the back panel of the wardrobe.

She tripped over a stray shoe and fell. She used her hands to catch herself, opening her eyes when she felt the cold instantly biting at her hands.

Snow.

She made it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: 'Cause Everytime You Fight the Scars are Gonna Heal**

Lucy shivered. She rubbed her arms with her hands as fast as she could to create some friction but it wasn't helping at all.

"Now all I have to do is find Edmund," she muttered to herself. She looked in the distance in the direction of Cair Paravel and thought it would be best to go to Cair Paravel first. That way she could get warm and get something to eat and then go out looking for Edmund.

She trudged through the snow as quickly as possible but it was hard. The snow came up to her knees, soaking her tights, making it harder for her to move. She kept her mind on rescuing her brother and getting to the castle to take her mind away from how cold she was.

"Keep going…L-Lucy…you n-n-need to s-save Eh-Eh-Ehdmund," she muttered to herelf, forcing herself to keep going. Her eyes felt heavy, her limbs were weak. Her teeth chattered so much that her jaw was starting to hurt. _'I should've grabbed a coat from the wardrobe.'_

She shook her head but it felt as if she was moving in slow motion. She looked down at her hand and tried to curl her fingers but they were moving so slowly. The wind brushing agiasnt her eyes caused them to tear and the tears immediately froze to her face.

It was colder than she remembered. Much colder. She collapsed to her knees and struggled to keep her eyes open. Everything around her was swimming and she felt cold. Numb. She struggled to take in a breath but she only found herself falling into darkness faster and faster.

"Pe…ter…"

Lucy's eyes finally closed as she collapsed onto the snow.

* * *

Susan's eyes flew open as she drew in a gasp. Her dream started out normally but then it changed to Edmund walking around Narnia, without anything to drink or eat. His clothes were tattered, his hair askew. He was just skin and bones, his eyes sunken in, dark circles matching the darkness of his browns. He had opened his mouth, struggling to say something, and that's when she woke up.

She knew Peter was right; they couldn't leave him in Narnia by himself but charging into the unknown…? Peter couldn't think straight, he was too afraid for his brother to think clearly. That's where Susan came in. She could see that his plan had many holes that could lead to their demise.

She sighed. She wanted to help Edmund, really she did, she just didn't want to admit that she didn't know how. Peter thought he knew, but deep down she knew that he didn't know what to do either. Getting back to Narnia through the wardrobe would be a risky. It didn't work every time they opened it so what made him think it would work now?

She shoved her blankets off of her bed and stretched. She slowly tiptoed out of the room, as to not wake up Lucy. She shivered once she stepped into the hall. Being back in the house brought back many memories that all hit her at once, a waterfall of emotions surged through her. Was it just a few short months ago they were in this house hiding from the bombers? Was it just a few months ago that she sat by the window worried about what was happening to her mother every day? Was it just a few short months ago they went to Narnia?

Sure, they were stuck in Narnia for years, enough that they aged to their twenties (well, she and Peter to their twenties, early thirties) and had become respected Kings and Queens of Narnia. Susan smiled at the memory. Peter was about to get married and have a High Queen of Narnia, someone to help him out whenever things got bad and someone who loved him for all of his flaws. All of them liked her, Edmund not so much at first but they just chocked it up to Edmund being his passive-moody self. After a few weeks he grew to liking her and even wanted her as a sister.

Susan herself was getting suitors by the day. Peter and Edmund had some sort of screening process for them all. They claimed it was because they didn't want her to be hurt in the future and they wanted her to go without the pain. She knew it was their way of being protective, well _overprotective_, but appreciated their concern…to an extent.

Edmund and Lucy, back then they just enjoyed having fun and growing up without the responsibilities she and Peter had. Susan envied them sometimes, not that she'd let them know it. Sometimes she just wanted to leave the castle, run out across the lawns without shoes on, the wind in her hair.

But that was such a foolish thought for a Queen.

Susan found herself in the library. "Maybe I'll read a few books. That'll help me get to sleep," she told herself. She turned on the lamp, went to the wall of books and dragged her finger across the spines, reading the titles. She finally grabbed a book that seemed interesting to her, sat down, and read it.

She didn't know how long she had been there reading when the door swung open with a bang. She jumped in her chair and turned her head around as her heart beat against her chest. Peter was standing in the doorway, eyes wide, panting heavily.

"Geeze, don't you have any manners?" Susan demanded, turning her attention back to the book. Peter crossed the room, grabbed the book out of her hands, and closed it with a loud snap. "What's your problem?"

"Where's Lucy?" Peter demanded.

"What do you mean where's Lucy?"

"There's only one definition to 'where's lucy'! Now where is she?"

"In her bed, sleeping! Which she probably won't be much longer if you keep yelling at me for no reason!"

Peter leaned close to Susan's face. "Lucy is _gone_!"

Susan blinked. "What do you mean _gone_?"

"I mean she's not in bed where she's supposed to be," Peter replied, pacing. "How come you didn't notice she wasn't there? Why didn't you stop her?"

"I was asleep, Peter, don't blame this on me," Susan snapped.

"Who else can I blame it on, huh? You were in the same room as her."

Susan gripped the ends of her hair and let out a slow breath. "Where did she go?"

"Where do you think?" Peter demanded.

He turned and stalked out of the room, Susan followed him quickly. They navigated the halls until they reached the room that hid the Wardrobe from sight. Peter pushed open the door, remembering to stay quiet so they wouldn't wake up Professor Diggory. He stared at the wardrobe, not moving as if he didn't believe it was right there in front of him. Susan was the first to move, knocking into Peter's arm along the way. He glared at her back but didn't say anything as she grasped the handle of the Wardrobe, but she didn't pull it open. Peter stared at her, wondering what was wrong.

He then noticed that she was stiff and breathing funny. He gently put his hands on top of hers and gave it a little squeeze. She turned around and looked at him with big brown eyes, eyes which spoke volumes of what was surging inside of her. It was in that moment, looking into her eyes, that every feeling of anger and fear that filled him disappeared instantly and was replaced with a feeling of serenity. He gently placed a kiss on her forehead, his way of telling her that everything would be ok. She blinked, smiled a little, and turned back to the door. They tightened their grips and pulled it open.

They gasped at what looked back at them.

Clothes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: But they're Never Gonna Go Away**

"Why'd you bring me back here?" Edmund asked, his voice shaking, or was it him as a whole? It was so cold. He held his legs together tighter trying to keep in every ounce of warmth he could get.

Jadis smiled but didn't respond. She tapped her wand against the bottom of the sled. Almost instantly Edmund was yanked roughly from the sled and shoved onto the cold ground. He didn't have time to get himself to his feet when he felt a swift kick to his side. He thought he wouldn't be able to feel the pain; that it would be numbed out in a sense because of the snow but he felt the blow and hissed in pain.

He was struck in the side again and he bit his lip to keep from crying out. He wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of showing that he was hurting. He squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, waiting for the pain to stop.

He was grabbed by his collar and yanked to his feet; something poking in his back urged him forward and towards the castle. He tried to pull out of the person's grasp but he felt a jab to his back and immediately stopped what he was doing.

As they got closer to the castle he finally looked up at it and gasped. In the distance the castle looked like it had once stood but now the majestic home to the Kings and Queens of Old looked as if it had been gutted. The walls were still standing but vines had overgrown and covered them like spider webs. Cracks ran up the sides of the walls as if racing each other to the top.

"Keep going!" A rough voice demanded as he shoved Edmund hard. Edmund lost his balance and stumbled, falling hard onto the ground. He rolled over in time to see a minotaur tap his axe in his hand, shaking his head. He then brought back his hoofed foot and slammed it against Edmund's side.

Edmund yelled in pain and swore he heard a crack that time. He struggled to breathe but felt pain in his chest every time his chest lifted. He clenched his teeth and curled into a ball, begging to every God that he knew to make the pain go away.

The minotaur roughly grabbed at his shirt and pulled him to his feet, carrying him forward and not carrying when his feet hit every step they walked up. The minotaur grunted and said something about kings being soft after having everyone wait on them hand and foot.

Edmund thought he would be happy to be back in his castle, his old home, but he hated being back. He hated being alone. He could practically hear the echoes of laughter he and Lucy shared as they explored, played games, tried to get uptight Susan to have some fun and thought of ways to get Peter out of boring meetings. The time came when Edmund and Lucy both had to be present at the meetings when they were older but that didn't mean they had to be bored. Since the two came in they made it a rule to have lunch while in a meeting (some were known to last a span of three days). Lucy made sure to make people smile while in those meetings and Edmund found himself smiling the most.

He used to hate Lucy when they grew up. Edmund didn't like that his attention was being taken away from him and put on someone cuter than him. But after a while Lucy became his best friend. He listened to her problems of Susan and Peter treating her like a kid and she listened to his about not feeling much like a king next to Peter. They had a silent understanding and support and that was what he found himself craving, Lucy's support.

Edmund's eyes looked around the dark, sad-looking castle once they entered the great hall. His gasp echoed in the empty chamber when he saw that their thrones, which used to stand mighty and tall, were on the ground in piles of rubble.

"Good riddance," the minotaur laughed, dropping Edmund. Edmund tried to crawl away but the minotaur grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him down a hall. Edmund let out a cry of pain every time his back hit a stair that he was dragged down. He knew where the minotaur was taking him, to the dungeons that the castle held deep down underground. They never used it much during their reign and Edmund was scared of the state that it was in.

The minotaur grunted as he reached the dungeon and opened the door. "Enjoy your stay," he said with a laugh and threw Edmund down the stairs. Edmund managed to tuck his body and rolled down the stone stairs into the dark, damp, musky dungeon. The minotaur slammed the door shut and the only light filtered in from the small window on the door which was covered by bars.

Edmund groaned and slowly got to his feet, wincing and groaning in pain along the way. Only when he was standing at full height did he realize he wasn't alone when he saw the hem of a dress illuminated by the light. "Who's there?" He coughed.

"Me," a small voice replied.

Edmund's heart skipped a beat. He recognized that voice, but she couldn't be there. Could she? "Lu…Lucy?" He whispered. Lucy stepped out of the shadows and nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks. He gasped when he saw her. Her bottom lip was puffy, split, and bleeding. Her face was covered in cuts, scratches, and a bruises was around her eye. It was so swollen it was almost swelled shut. Her dress was covered in dirt and tears. "Lucy," he mumbled.

"Oh, Edmund!" She cried out, throwing her arms around his waist. He hugged her as best as he could without hurting his other wounds. "Edmund! Edmund!"

"Lucy, please calm down," he begged, holding her out at arm's length. He looked her over from head to toe and anger swelled in his stomach at the sight of her. "What happened? What'd they do to you? How'd you get here?"

"You disappeared from the room and I knew it was Narnia that was calling you, I just knew it," Lucy replied. "We all left school. We went back to Professor Diggory's house. He knew why we came and said he would try and help us get back. We've checked the wardrobe all day but it didn't bring us here."

"Us?" He repeated. _So they were trying to get me. They wouldn't leave me here by myself._

"Susan and Peter," Lucy said, nodding. "They…they got into a fight. Over everything. That's why I tried again without them; I didn't want to be around them when they fight." She sobbed and fresh tears fell down her face again. Edmund gently wiped them away and led her over to the wall where she was and sat them down, wincing at the pain in his chest. "So I tried coming through the wardrobe and I made it. But…it was so cold. I went in search for Mr. Tumnus but I got all turned around and I…I fell asleep."

Edmund nodded. "Go on. How did you end up here?"

Lucy's lower lip quivered. "I woke up in the Great Hall. Two minotaurs held me down and the White Witch continued to ask me what I was doing here and where Peter and Susan was. I said I was here by myself but she didn't believe me. She…she attacked me with her whip. I didn't have my dagger! I couldn't defend myself!" Edmund squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't believe that Jadis would hurt a little girl like that. He clenched his hands into fists at his side. She would pay for what she did to his sister. "They continued to hurt me, but I didn't cry." She wiped at her eyes. "I never cried, not once. Peter would be proud…" her voice trailed off and she pushed her hair out of her face. "Then they took me here. I've been down here…for two days I think. They let me eat every now and then but otherwise they leave me alone." She then squeezed his arm. "I'm so glad you're all right. What did she do to you?"

Edmund struggled to find the words. "She tortured me. E…Every day, when I didn't answer her or I didn't address her right or I didn't get her food to her fast enough. She would hit me and when she was bored she got some of her monsters to hurt me. But then she brought me here and I still don't know why." He shook his head and ran a hand over his face. Because of him he was back in Narnia going through the torture again. Because of him Lucy had to go through torture as well. When was he going to stop being punished for what he did? He all ready apologized for being a traitor. He apologized to Aslan, to Peter, Susan, and Lucy. He apologized to all of Narnia. But why was he back being punished again?

* * *

**A/N: Yes everyone, _Broken Down Like a Mirror Smashed to Peices_ is back! So sorry for the long wait. I can't apologize enough but I hope my words make up for it and I hope you all still enjoy this story. Please read and review this story as well as my other Narnia stories: _Bittersweet Secret, One of the Guys, _and _High King Peter the Magnificent._ Thanks so much for those of you who have stuck around. You all are what keep me going.**

**~Crystal**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: You're Falling, You're Screaming**

"No…no, no, no…!" Susan gasped. She jumped into the wardrobe and shoved the jackets aside. Staring back at her was the wooden wall of the back of the wardrobe. But it couldn't be. Lucy had just gone to Narnia, wouldn't they be able to get there as well…?

"This isn't possible," Peter muttered to himself. He reached up and started yanking on the clothes, pulling them down one by one. The more clothes he pulled down the faster he reached up to garb more. Susan watched him, numb. Even if she wanted to move she couldn't, she just couldn't wrap her head around the notion that they couldn't get back.

They couldn't save their family…

"This isn't…" Peter's words died on his lips. The wardrobe was completely empty and now Peter could see the back of the wardrobe from the dying candle that sat on the windowsill. "It's not…" He threw down the coats that were in his hands. "We have to get back, Susan!" He told her.

"I…I know," Susan replied.

"So why aren't you doing anything? Why are you just _sitting_ there?" Peter demanded. He jumped to his feet and started pacing. _Edmund's in Narnia. Lucy is with him. As long as they're together they can stay sage what if they aren't together? What if they can't find each other or they get attacked before they can? I have to get back. I HAVE to. _"_Think_ of something, Susan!"

Susan's eyes hardened and she stood in front of Peter with her hands on her hips. "I am thinking—"

"_Logically,_ of course," Peter said with an eye roll.

Susan ignored him. "I'm thinking that _this_ is the only way into Narnia and it's blocked for a _reason_."

"Because you're not believing in Narnia," Peter accused. Susan's eyebrows shot up. "You're not. The week after we got back you kept telling Lucy to forget about Narnia and to focus on her work. You've lost your belief, Su. Ed, Lu, and I always believed we'd go back but you. You kept tuning us out or leaving the room whenever we talked about it."

"Because Aslan said he'd call us back when we're needed and I wasn't going to waste my time thinking about it when I could get some work done while I was waiting," Susan hissed. "And even if I didn't believe in Narnia it wouldn't be because of me that the wardrobe is blocked!"

"Aslan told you that Narnia would call you back when needed." Peter and Susan both jumped at the sound of Professor Diggory's voice. He chuckled and stepped into the room. His glasses were perched on the end of his nose and a book was in his hands. "What started this argument?"

Peter and Susan looked at each other, silence stretching out between them. Finally it was Peter who broke the silence. "You see, Edmund just…disappeared before our eyes. He's been acting very strange lately and then he just disappeared at school. We're sure it was Narnia that took him back which is why we're here. And now…Lucy's gone too and we're sure she found her way back to Narnia. We tried going after them, sir, but now it's blocked. Is there any other way in?"

Professor Diggory chuckled. "You'll find your way back when Narnia wants you back."

Susan's eyebrows crinkled "But, sir, Aslan said he'd call us back."

"Aslan wouldn't call you back individually, don't you think? If Narnia needed you—_all_ of you—you'd all be there together. Hmm?" He pushed his glasses up his nose. "Come now, it's time for bed. For everyone."

"But sir—" Peter protested.

Professor Diggory held up his hand to silence Peter and said with a twinkle in his eye, "You'll return when you're needed by all."

* * *

**A/N: Now, before you all yell at me for this being short I have my reasons. This is going to the last chapter with Peter and Susan for a bit so it's short on purpose. Ok? That means the next one will be longer.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: You're Stuck in the Same Old Nightmare**

Edmund could hear Lucy's soft whimpering. He hated hearing her cry. It was worse knowing that _he_ was the cause of it all. What would Peter say? What would Susan say? What would his _father_ say? Edmund felt a chill run down his spine at that thought alone.

All he ever wanted was to make his father proud of him. It's what he lived for; it's what he strived to do. But it seemed like every time he tried, he only failed. No matter how hard he tried things never turned out the way he planned. He would do something to upset Lucy or say something nasty to Peter and then have to see the disapproving look his father would bestow upon him.

The look almost killed him every time he saw it. It felt like he couldn't do anything right to get his father's look of approval. He knew that his father loved him dearly but he didn't feel it. It wasn't as obvious to him as it seemed to be for Peter, Susan, and Lucy. He was stuck in the middle, always overlooked. Whenever he was in the forefront it was because he made a mistake. Never because he did something right.

Edmund sighed and rolled over, wincing at the looks rocks that poked into his bruised skin. He knew he couldn't be complaining, at least he was alive. He chuckled at the realization that that thought alone was what kept him going. He wanted to give up so many times but he knew he had to keep going for his family.

"Edmund," Lucy whispered.

"Yeah?" he whispered back.

"What if we're stuck here forever?"

"Would that really be a bad thing?" He asked, looking in the direction her voice was coming from in the darkness. He remembered when they were free to run around the castle, playing tag and hide-n-seek, searching for their next adventure. He remembered the endless days riding their horses around the castle, playing games in the river, and going off to battle every now and then. What lasted years in Narnia only lasted a few minutes back home but, to Edmund, lasted a lifetime in his mind.

During school he'd constantly find himself back in Narnia, sparring with Peter, avoiding Susan, and playing games with Lucy. As long as they were free, he wouldn't mind being stuck in Narnia for the rest of their lives.

But he knew what she meant and weighed his answer in his head. He wanted to tell her the truth but he didn't want to alarm her. He took his time coming up with a good answer. "We won't be," he replied.

"What makes you say that?"

"As your big brother it's my job to protect you and I _will_ get you out of here, Lucy. I promise," he replied, keeping his voice as strong as possible. For her sake, of course. As long as he kept repeating it in his head he figured he'd start to believe it.

_But I'm still a kid,_ he rationalized. _How much can I do?_ Then a different thought filtered into his mind. _I'm a King of Narnia, I can do anything. I can get us out of here…_._But how?_

"Did you see Mr. Tumnus?" Lucy's small voice broke the silence once more.

"No," Edmund sighed. "I was there by myself."

"I'm glad." She muttered. Edmund chuckled. "I…I didn't mean it like _that,_ Edmund! I swear! I was just saying—"

"I knew what you meant, Lu," Edmund told her. "I'm glad I was by myself, actually."

Edmund could see Lucy's doe eyes getting wider in his mind. "Why?" She asked.

"This is my fault," he replied simply. "I should be punished for it."

"This isn't your fault, Edmund,"

"Yes it is. I wanted power. I was going to betray you all for power and the other suffered because of me." Edmund could see the Battle of Beruna flashing before his eyes. He could hear the cries of pain, the thuds of dead bodies hitting the ground, the screeches from the gryphon's that had been flying in the air being pierced with arrows. He could smell the sweat and the blood as if it were right beneath his nose.

"Why did you want power so badly?" Lucy asked in a small voice.

Edmund bit his lip. He could feel many reasons tumbling around in his mind, each one forcing its way out but none of them felt right. He knew Lucy wanted the truth"I wanted to be better than Peter." As soon as the words fell from his mouth he realized that it was his driving force behind everything he did. "I wanted that for so long. Everything I tried to do, Peter could do it better and it…it didn't sit right with me. When I came here and the White Witch offered me power and to rule…I wanted it so badly. It was something that Peter didn't have and…I guess power blinded me."

"Oh, Ed," Lucy sighed.

"I know," Edmund mumbled.

"You and Peter aren't the same people."

"I know."

"I don't think you really do," Lucy said in a firm tone that Edmund had only heard in his mother. It always scared him when his mother used it, it was worse now that Lucy had the power. "You and Peter are two different people. There is nothing about you that is the same…except for your last name but that's not the point. You and Peter ruled differently, you and Peter react to situations differently. _You are not Peter, Edmund_. You're not. Stop living up to impossible expectations that you set for yourself."

Edmund let out a slow breath through his nose. He knew that Lucy was right (when wasn't she?) but it was easier said than done. She didn't know what it was like being stuck in Peter's shadow. She didn't know what it was like to have to live with the idea that their father liked Peter better.

Edmund bit his lip again and rolled over once more. He coughed when a few specks of dust flew down his throat once he took in a breath. How long ago was it that they were in the castle? He didn't remember the lower rooms being so dirty. Then it hit him.

"Lucy!" he gasped, sitting up as best as he could. Everything hurt when he moved. He squeezed his eyes shut and took quick breaths while the pain slowly faded away.

"What?" Lucy asked. He heard a scuffling sound and guessed she had gotten to her feet at him screaming her name.

"We're so stupid," Edmund said as he waved his hands in front of his face, trying to find her. He gently cuffed her ear in the dark. "Sorry," he said with a little laugh, imagining a scowl on her face. He found her shoulders in the dark and shook her. "This is our castle."

"I'm aware of that, Ed," Lucy replied.

"No, Lucy, think. This is _our_ castle. We know every inch of the place!" He said excitedly, gripping her shoulders a bit tighter.

"Edmund, what're you getting at?"

"You've never been down here before," Edmund realized. "Peter brought me down here once, to show me what everything looked like. I remember coming down here once while we were playing hide-n-seek and I found something."

Lucy gasped."What? What did you find?"

"I found an escape," Edmund replied, his ears buzzing at the words. "I, I think. I didn't try and open it or anything but there's…a little space on this wall I think leads to an escape tunnel."

"Why would we have one if someone else were to use it?"

"In case we were put down here, I guess," Edmund replied, turning around and feeling against the wall. "I just…I don't know where it goes."

"As long as we can get out of here," Lucy said from next to him. His fingers brushed hers before he moved down the side of the wall.

"Well, it might end up taking us straight to the White Witch," Edmund mumbled.

"But it might not," Lucy replied."We'll never know until we try."

"Right."

The two worked together in silence, carefully feeling every crack, bump, and groove in the wall for a way out. Edmund crouched near the floor, keeping his mind off of the dirt and dust that was steadily collecting on his hands. He made faces at the random scraps of rotting food that was on the floor of which that Lucy had left. His fingers moved against the wall until he felt a strange straight-line crack in a groove between the bricks. He followed it until he traced a large square outline. His heart jumped at the discovery.

"Luce, come here, I found it!" Edmund called.

He could hear Lucy's rapid footsteps in the dark as he traced the shape again; making sure it was actually there. She dropped down by his side and he grabbed her hand, outlining the shape as well. Just then the door to the dungeon swung open and bright light illuminated the dark cell.

"Quick!" Lucy gasped and the two started to shove on the mass of bricks. Edmund could feel it shifting slightly under their weight as the voices at the top of the stairs got louder. His heart beat quickly against his chest. It was so loud it took over any other sound in the room. If it weren't for the shadow that was growing in the light he wouldn't have been able to hear their captor coming down the stairs.

"Move, move," Edmund said quickly, gently shoving Lucy out of the way. He got onto his back and pressed his feet against the brick. He gritted his teeth and concentrated on using his energy to push the brick out of the way.

Finally it gave way. A strange creaking sound filled the dungeon, as if the bricks were sliding against each other. He didn't give it a second thought as Lucy blindly crawled her way through the space. Once she was cleared Edmund followed her.

He stood up in a large tunnel, about the size of the tunnels at the train station. Torches lined both walls and illuminated the tunnel. It stretched on and on in front of them, Edmund and Lucy whipped around at the sound of fury and watched as the bricks that Edmund had moved out of the way slide back into the wall as if they hadn't been moved in the first place.

"Where does it go?" Lucy asked. Her small voice echoed in the high-walled tunnel.

"I don't know," Edmund replied. Then he grabbed her arm and tugged her down the tunnel. "But we shouldn't wait to find out. Once they realize we're gone the White Witch will send her wolves out to look for us."

The siblings moved quickly in silence. Edmund kept his eyes on the walls in front of him for any other tunnel leading in a different direction but it only went straight for what felt like forever. The floor by the crease of the wall hitting the floor sparkled in the light of the torches, as if they were damp. Lucy looked over her shoulder every now and then to make sure they weren't being followed. The sounds from the dungeon were long gone; the only sounds that filled the tunnel were made from their shoes or their breathing.

"I didn't know there was a secret passage there," Lucy commented.

"I found it by accident," Edmund replied. "I know where others are. I hope she doesn't find out about them, though."

"Where do those lead?"

"Some just to a safe room, like where we held our weapons and clothes in the treasure room, there are a few other rooms like that. I think one passage leads out to the orchard, one leads to a side of the courtyard, and in Peter's room there's a passage that takes him down to the kitchen."

Lucy laughed, "I wondered how he always managed to get the most of the Turkish Delights. Susan will have a fit if she ever finds out he's had access to his midnight snacks, even when she's hid them."

Edmund smiled as well. "Don't tell her I told you, Lu. He doesn't even know that I know."

Lucy's smile slowly faded. "So what do we do now?"

"Find the end of this tunnel and go look for help, I guess," Edmund replied.

"Where should we look first?" Lucy asked.

Edmund scratched at the back of his neck. "The woods, I guess. It should be much safer than staying near the castle and I'm sure many of our friends went and hid out there."

"I hope so," Lucy whispered. "I hope they didn't cross the White Witch. I couldn't bear the thought of losing more friends because of us."

"I know, Lucy, I know," Edmund whispered. They were close to being free but he still felt like he was being watched.

* * *

**A/N:** It's been forever and a day. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Any burning question about this story or about me as a writer can be sent to my formspring (http:/www. formspring. me/CrystalManning).

~C.M.


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